woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I enjoy the company of your penis
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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