True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
