The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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