Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
