I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
