You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
