You're so nebulous sometimes
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize