He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize