Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
