you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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