What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
