i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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