I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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