i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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