I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
