I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
