I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
