Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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