he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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