Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
