just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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