Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
