life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
