is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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