ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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