i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
