So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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