and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
