His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
