White coat. Heels.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
