Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
my liver is dry heaving
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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