i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Are my feet made of real feet?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
