we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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