Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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