So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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