Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
