Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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