Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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