sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
