i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize