Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
