You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
