Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
