i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Randomize
