you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
