I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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