I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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