where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
