Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
