Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She's the barista slut.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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