I love black thongs
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
