How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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