she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
