I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize