you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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