How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
