I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Holy shit dude........stairs
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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