We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
My vagina just recognized that song.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
