dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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