i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
