Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
