I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
