He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
